@coexistere

15.

“im afraid this is all going to sound really stupid when i type it out. well im 19  but a couple years ago i was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, i was on meds but didnt like them and they made me a zombie, so i stopped. well now its getting worse, my parents got divorced, which killed me. i don’t have access to my car anymore, and nowhere to really go anyway, so im just stuck inside alone all day and i really shouldnt be left with my thoughts. i know i need to go out and get a job  and get back in school, because i feel as though im wasting my life. but i have no motivation to do any of this. i’m in the biggest slump ive ever been in. my life has changed so much for the worst these past two years, and i just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. sometimes i feel like id be better off gone, and i know id be missed but sometimes i convince myself i wouldn’t be at all. i want to be the girl i used to be, outgoing, and fun. and now i can barely go into a store without feeling soo self conscious almost to the point that i hate even leaving my house, but then i also have this fear that if i don’t meet some new people i’ll be alone forever, and ive already had a boy, and a girl break my heart last year. sorry that was so long. but yeah…oh and i love the idea of Coexistere, you guys are doing a great thing. <3”

14.

“so I have this friend, ***, and she used to be such a good friend. we would talk about everything and I even got her some 3oh!3 autographs for her birthday cuz she told me she loved them and when I give them to her she’s just like “oh, they’re old idont like them anymore” so I’m just upset about that because it’s really hard to be able to meet them again cuz they’ve just gotten to famous and now you gotta pay for a meet and greet at their concerts. and also another thing is, me and her would hang out all the time! and now, since she joined the “popular” group at school(I really don’t like that group cuz they’re stuck up and think they’re the shit when they’re not), she’s been ditching me all the time, she says all my opions are stupid or that she doesn’t care. or I’ll be talking to her and shell just cut me off and talk to someone else. and sometimes I just walk off without her but she gets mad at me for not waiting for her, but she never waits for me
 and she’s never really done anything nice for me and I’m really getting annoyed with her. and before she joined the popular group, she would tell me how much she hated them and how stuck up they are and how cool they are and now she acts just like them. and we made our own group with two other friends called “fuck the cool group” and we would pretty much just scream it outloud as a joke and now she joined it and is saying how it’s now stupid. so I’m just really confused and annoyed by her and wish she were back to the way she was again. sorryyy if this is kinda long…but it really bugs me to think that she’s the 2nd close friend I’ve lost this year”

13.

“Over the past week I told one of my friends I liked them, to my surprise I found out that she likes me as well. Things seemed to be going great and may be they are and it’s just my self consciousness and insecurities setting in. I probably should take a step back before I continue shouldn’t I?

Back in 2002 - 2003 I dated this girl named ***. Things were great, I mean really great no one could bring us down or anything. But our relationship wasn’t based on liking each other for our personalities or who we were. Ok maybe that’s a lie, there was probably a small part of us that liked each other for who we were, but our relationship eventually went down south with in about 3 to 4 months. It went from spending time together to messing around all the time it never got to the point of sex, but ultimately our relationship got destroyed from all of this. PDA got out of control, and friends didn’t want to be around us a lot of the time. Eventually we obviously broke up because she cheated on me. Long story short with that we were suppose to hang out, she ignored my phone calls and then later that day I caught her at the mall with some guy where she admitted she had cheated on me with him. We went a few months of not talking and then got back in touch. It remained like that for years and we would hook up every now and then to (me being too stupid to see she was using me). Now up to Jan. last year a potential relationship I had with some one fell through, I stopped caring and week later I was in bed with ***. I didn’t care, I was thinking, I just wanted the satisfaction of feeling good plus I thought I was taking advantage of her it was the other way around. We didn’t speak since until I found out from my cousin that she was trash talking me, my body, saying I was an awful person. I then also found out from one of her friends that she lied to me about her and her bf were broken up. I was furious, sent her a message on facebook telling her never to speak to me again I had enough with her BS. A few unkind words were sent back and forth and we haven’t spoke since (this was back in June). This now brings me up to, today.

As I said before both this girl and I like each and there’s a potential relationship. Her and her now ex-bf broke up last week, shortly after we told each other that we like one another. She told me not to worry about him, because if he’s not willing to make it work she isn’t either and she won’t be there for him if he comes running back. Now one of my biggest concerns with her was entering the “friend zone” which I was very open about with her. She told me to just give her time which she knows I understand. Then out of no where all because she commented on my status on fb this other guy commented on (plus we have a friend in common) he friend requested her. I took them commenting on each other statuses as flirting but I could be wrong. But in the end I got really insecure and upset/jealous. I even talked to her that day saying I was afraid of messing things up between us and she told me I wouldn’t and that I don’t have to worry. I’ve gotten passed that but I feel as if things are changing I’ve felt like she might not feel the same ever since the friend request thing, our convo about me messing up.

We’ve talked everyday since we found out about liking each other (last sunday or monday I think it was) and we talked all day this past Sunday. Maybe were growing tired of talking to each other and need some distance? I don’t know what to do honestly, I’m tired of feeling upset over this. It sits like an awful pit feeling in my stomach. More and more I’m starting to think distance/space is the answer as I had mentioned before. What do you make of all of this? I’m tired of this pain/fear.”

12.

Information on the new website

So we’ve come to the conclusion that some of you giving advice out there, are sharing personal experiences and that’s great! However, some people may not be ready to share their stories with everyone publicly SO the solution is this website:

www.coexistere.blogspot.com

On here, you guys can comment on each entry as either yourselves or anonymous!  This saves all the reblogging.  The tumblr will still update with the new questions/comments but we ask that you share your advice on the blogspot! That way everything is way more organized! <3

Thank you everyone who’s joining project coexistere

11.a

allenanguyen:

coexistere:

“so there are lots of things i could use some help with i’m 18, 12th grade but i’ll try not to like, write a novel d: try to not be very wordy and keep it fact but not everything obviously. my family has been told since i was in 3rd grade that i need mental help, that i need to talk to somebody. and they let it go till 8th grade i got caught at school for severe self injury that i successfully hid for about a year. between 10 grade and now i’ve attempted suicide twice in the midst of full-blown insane mental-breakdowns. i can’t control my emotions. either i’m ridiculously depressed which makes me isolate myself from people. or i’m ridiculouslyh yper and annoying and it pushes people away. i have pretty much no friends anymore. my family, i don’t care what anyone says, they’re different, they truly do not give a damn. i’ve been binge/purging since 10th grade and my mom said to me in 11th “i hope you burn a gaping hole in your throat” and i convinced her it was just that once because i didn’t feel well after eating. i was 250 in the beginning. the 145. not i’m 170 from trying to get “healthy” on my own. i totally and completely feel nothing but pure unadulterated loathing for myself. i’m obese, i’m ugly, i have no talent, there’s not a single thing i’m pleased with. ejbfvlsjdbvsvbldfloh i just want to know how to be happy T-T”

(continued)

“thing with “parents” is that my mom moved out over a year ago and i never knew my father and i wouldn’t want to burdon my grandparents like that >_< and i can’t talk to my mom about my emotions because she’s been to jail and rehab recently so thinks she knows what she’s talking about mentally. i also can’t trust her with my vulnerability because when i was 8 she drove under the influence and fucked up my nose for life in an accident. never apologized. then when i was 12 she was driving drunk and slammed my side of the car into a tree at high speed, didn’t come to see if i was okay, didn’t acknowledge me, but just scrambled to get rid of her empty liquor bottle. again never apoligized, or asked if i was okay -_- no one cares. people think i’m over-exaggerating when i say no one does care about me in real life.”

**Reblog this if you have anything to say to this person, any advice YOU can offer. EVERYONE is Team Coexistere. If you reblog this, with your own advice, we will reblog it here so everyone can see it.**

This is probably not going to be too useful since I honestly do not know what to say, but I do want to get one message across: please do not feel like you’re the only one going through this and (this isn’t intended to come off as harsh) but there are people worse off than you. I’m in no place to say much because I’m only 16 and have a limited amount of knowledge but I can not only sympathize, but empathize with you, because I have a slightly toned down version of what you said here. Therefore, I won’t be commenting and expanding on a lot of the stuff you say because I don’t feel like it’s fair for you that I go, “Well, I think that this and that and this blah blah blah.” Because no, I don’t know. You are a stranger to me but I KNOW that you have some amazing qualities in you that you just have a hard time highlighting. I too have isolated myself from people and many times have hit basically rock bottom and I just get back up and start all over. It’s really hard, I know, but it makes you stronger each time, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Those times where I have pushed everyone away, thinking it was best for me and everyone else, I have lost friends - my only friends. And you know what? I’m a ridiculously hyper and annoying person myself so I really like that about you. You sound like a fun person. I’m positive you neither obese, nor ugly - I don’t think anybody in the world is ugly. You absolutely have talent and it may take you a while to realize it or you don’t think something you have is a talent, but it’s there. We’re all born with gifts and we just all choose to open it at a different time, while some open them, and never look in. You just need to find something that doesn’t necessarily make you happy, but just makes all of the “bad things” in your life fade away for a bit. If you do want to just vent and/or know what my story is, put your e-mail in my formspring (http://www.formspring.me/thisisallena) because it’s too personal for me to just slap onto the interwebz :P I genuinely do hope that you do find your light.

11.

“so there are lots of things i could use some help with i’m 18, 12th grade but i’ll try not to like, write a novel d: try to not be very wordy and keep it fact but not everything obviously. my family has been told since i was in 3rd grade that i need mental help, that i need to talk to somebody. and they let it go till 8th grade i got caught at school for severe self injury that i successfully hid for about a year. between 10 grade and now i’ve attempted suicide twice in the midst of full-blown insane mental-breakdowns. i can’t control my emotions. either i’m ridiculously depressed which makes me isolate myself from people. or i’m ridiculouslyh yper and annoying and it pushes people away. i have pretty much no friends anymore. my family, i don’t care what anyone says, they’re different, they truly do not give a damn. i’ve been binge/purging since 10th grade and my mom said to me in 11th “i hope you burn a gaping hole in your throat” and i convinced her it was just that once because i didn’t feel well after eating. i was 250 in the beginning. the 145. not i’m 170 from trying to get “healthy” on my own. i totally and completely feel nothing but pure unadulterated loathing for myself. i’m obese, i’m ugly, i have no talent, there’s not a single thing i’m pleased with. ejbfvlsjdbvsvbldfloh i just want to know how to be happy T-T”

(continued)

“thing with “parents” is that my mom moved out over a year ago and i never knew my father and i wouldn’t want to burdon my grandparents like that >_< and i can’t talk to my mom about my emotions because she’s been to jail and rehab recently so thinks she knows what she’s talking about mentally. i also can’t trust her with my vulnerability because when i was 8 she drove under the influence and fucked up my nose for life in an accident. never apologized. then when i was 12 she was driving drunk and slammed my side of the car into a tree at high speed, didn’t come to see if i was okay, didn’t acknowledge me, but just scrambled to get rid of her empty liquor bottle. again never apoligized, or asked if i was okay -_- no one cares. people think i’m over-exaggerating when i say no one does care about me in real life.”

**Reblog this if you have anything to say to this person, any advice YOU can offer. EVERYONE is Team Coexistere. If you reblog this, with your own advice, we will reblog it here so everyone can see it.**

10.

allenanguyen:

coexistere:

“my grandma passed away um about a week ago….28/01/10 and well all my friends were there with me, and if they couldn’t they called me, and they were all really supportive. The only one who didn’t even call was my bff =( …she just send me a text saying she was with me at <3, and idk I thought she might have been to busy to go…or call..even if a call is just a min if she wants, anyway…point is that after a few days I found out she didn’t do anything that day, she wasn’t busy at all. She didn’t even cared that this is the fist time a fam member soo close to me dies, and now she thinks I’m being all bleh with her because she is dating a new guy (idk I guess she thinks I’m jealous or something baah!) point is, I don’t know how to tell her, or even if I should tell her, now that is to late to be there for me. thanks for listening =)”

**Reblog this if you have anything to say to this person, any advice YOU can offer.  EVERYONE is Team Coexistere.  If you reblog this, with your own advice, we will reblog it here so everyone can see it.**

I’m genuinely sorry to hear that your grandma has passed, and I will keep her in my prayers. This might be a case of miscommunication. So from the way you stated your situation, the two of you haven’t talked about this yet, correct? Therefore, you’re not really sure what’s going on in her head, just like she doesn’t know what’s going on in yours. I understand that it’s hard when you’re looking more from those you expect it from, and you get less. Now, I don’t know of your friend, of course, but maybe she doesn’t deal well with death and maybe she doesn’t know how yet. Perhaps the best she can do is send you a “<3” to let you know that she does, in fact, acknowledge your pain and that she is still there. Maybe she actually does care that this is the first time a family member that is close to you has died, but she doesn’t know how to portray her feelings towards you. Death is something that everyone has a way of dealing with and sometimes, it takes some longer than others to find a way that works for not only them, but for those around them. Personally, I think it’s worth to let her know what’s on your mind because friends respect each other. It’s hard to read a book with only half of the pages, if you know what I mean. All I can say is that you let her know what’s on your mind and don’t let this third person get between the two of you. Just tell her exactly what you said in that post. I wish you all the best of luck and God bless.

10.

“my grandma passed away um about a week ago….28/01/10 and well all my friends were there with me, and if they couldn’t they called me, and they were all really supportive. The only one who didn’t even call was my bff =( …she just send me a text saying she was with me at <3, and idk I thought she might have been to busy to go…or call..even if a call is just a min if she wants, anyway…point is that after a few days I found out she didn’t do anything that day, she wasn’t busy at all. She didn’t even cared that this is the fist time a fam member soo close to me dies, and now she thinks I’m being all bleh with her because she is dating a new guy (idk I guess she thinks I’m jealous or something baah!) point is, I don’t know how to tell her, or even if I should tell her, now that is to late to be there for me. thanks for listening =)”

**Reblog this if you have anything to say to this person, any advice YOU can offer.  EVERYONE is Team Coexistere.  If you reblog this, with your own advice, we will reblog it here so everyone can see it.**